Be Kind.
Last week was Mental Health Awareness Week 2020, and I feel like it’s the right time to acknowledge just how important mental health awareness is to our society this year.
We have been in a pandemic for almost 7 months now, an unprecedented time in our history. Our everyday lives have changed dramatically. Unfortunately, some of us have experienced illness, and lost loved ones. We are experiencing all sorts of things and feelings: a mix of isolation, anxiety, the blues, bad mood, fear, and the complex feelings associated with the uncertainties of our present, and the unknowns of our imminent future. The theme for this year’s mental health awareness week is kindness and compassion.
Now, what’s compassion? My definition for compassion is: suffering together. When we feel the distress of others, or understand their pain, compassion is the motivation to be kind and support those who are suffering, as we instinctively know that they need to ease that suffering. Compassion extends beyond empathy. It does not motivate our action because we too may be harmed. Compassion motivates action because the phenomena we observe are unjust, not worthy of the world we would like to live in. This has a deeply binding energy, which we have seen in many forms in our communities over the past months. For example, we have seen neighbors rallying to get groceries and medication for those having to self-isolate, the creation of all sorts of platforms to have virtual movie nights on Netflix with friends and family, and p eople around the UK doing a round of applause for all of the people working in the fight against coronavirus. In uncertain times, compassion and kindness bring out our humanity and give us that feeling of safety.
We hear so much worry and concern about the impact of the pandemic on mental health. Every email you get these days from service providers, employers, universities tend to end with the same promise that ‘these are very trying times and we are here to make things easier for you anyway we can…’. But do they mean it? Recently, having moved back to Cambridge, I have been hearing some pretty dreadful stories. In my own case, I had to go back home to Mauritius in March when the university closed, and I therefore had to move out of my private student accommodation almost 2 months earlier than what I already paid for. And they refused to refund me because ‘it is part of the contract’. Yes, a contract pre-global pandemic! My friend was asked to vacate their college room as soon as possible and not to worry about leaving their belongings behind, to then be told a few weeks later that oh yeah we’ll be charging you rent for the room because your things are here and no you can’t come back to collect your stuff either…Other students are being told that they should be prepared this term to vacate the college grounds within 48hrs at their own cost in the case of a second lockdown. Having a bank card that is expiring while being in a different country due to lockdown? The bank can’t help extend the date or send your card to the new address in the right time frame. Some students had their exams cancelled and are automatically moving on to their next academic year, but student finances DEMAND some sort of transcript to keep paying them. There seems to be very little that is being done to actually help those who need real compassion and assistance, which is just sad. Imagine the anxiety and the disappointment when faced with these people who can only follow protocol and cannot consider your individual case or the fact that this is a global pandemic!! I feel like it is high time we put our money where our mouth is. I also understand that some people are just doing their job, but there are different ways of breaking bad news or saying no. This is just a reminder to be kind, as much as you can. A smile or a compassionate comment goes really far. And if you are in a position where you can go out of your way to help someone in need, really try. Just be nice, you guys!
But being compassionate is not just about giving to others. We need a reminder to be kind to ourselves too! None of us are perfect but we are all doing the best we can, given the circumstances, and we should recognise this and try not to judge ourselves too harshly. Whether it’s about the second lunch of the day, or eating the whole family size chocolate bar, or an unproductive day, or not learning any new skills during lockdown, it’s all good! There is no rule book on how to master a lockdown during a global pandemic, so we are all learning by doing. So, have that extra cookie, take a nap during the day, buy that new top and binge watch that show on Netflix, it’s all self-care!
By remembering how compassion and kindness can be beneficial for both us and for everyone else, we can deal with these exceptional times, and hopefully, emerge from the crisis as a global nation, united in compassion and kindness.