Remembering the year to forget.
2020 has been a roller-coaster of a year, and that is still such an understatement. We all had such high hopes for 2020. A new decade and some exciting events ahead: the Tokyo Olympics, European Football Championships, and for Brexiteers, a final farewell to the European Union. As for me, 2020 was going to be the year I complete my PhD, give my first ever TED talk, get a job and become a full-time adult. I was not ready for what was to come…
What 2020 became was a series of rolling disasters—the killing of George Floyd, the burning of California, a political campaign marred by baseless allegations of fraud and illegal voting, and the worst pandemic the world has seen in more than a century. The last 9 months chewed us up, spat us out, and remoulded everything that made us up as humans. COVID19 and lockdowns have had a globally devastating impact on our existence, it has been an overwhelmingly negative experience. But in the midst of the tragedies there was courage, there was grace, there was sacrifice, there was hope—there were people faced with the very worst rising up to be their very best. Although things have started to look up with the vaccine rolling out in a few countries around the world already, few will recall the year just ending with anything close to fondness. But looking past the obvious grief, struggle, heartache, anxiety, and stress, I’ve learned a hell of a lot about myself in this tumultuous time.
If it wasn’t for the pandemic and being in lockdown, I would not have virtually met my 4 wonderful co-founders to set up ReShape Co. as a response to help SMEs, NGOs and charities, or registered my first business as Reach OxBridge to help Mauritian students applying to Oxford and Cambridge. This very blog and website were created during the lockdown as a side project to keep sane. I also met my amazing soul sister Nikita and we set up an online community for women of colour: The WOC Tribe. And my most prized achievement is definitely the creation of my podcast which has been in the works for such a long time! Through Dream, Girl I got to have so many incredibly fascinating conversations with my friends and seeing them in a completely new light. I learnt so much from each guest, about being passionate for a goal, about resilience and just practical tips on how to survive the lockdown. P.S. I am grateful for all of you who take time out of your busy lives to listen!
I am in no way trying to list all the achievements I managed during the pandemic but this feels like the right time to remind myself and hopefully others, to be grateful irrespective of how things turn out, and to constantly try to find opportunities in situations we have zero control on. Life has bended, twisted and pulled me in all directions but I’ve finally come to the realisation that I still have control over how I choose to respond. Resilience has been a major life lesson. When navigating through life with the lenses of resilience, you train your mind to recognise the learning or growth opportunities in challenging circumstances. Let me give you some ‘for instances’. Having had to move back home for the final stretch of my PhD was tough as it would have been so much better to be in the labs surrounded by my peers for support and help. But it also meant I got to be home with my family for my birthday and Eid after 4 years, and I got to save on rent! My TED talk has been postponed to next year, but it means I get to raise even more awareness on the impact of unequal access to education on girls. Struggling to find short term accommodation on my return to Cambridge was a huge source of anxiety and I ended up having to crash with Ali, who has since then been a major force in getting me kick started with the podcast, while he got a new best pal and a camerawoman! I was stuck in Mauritius when I was meant to do my summer internship at a pharma company, but I got to do it virtually and learnt so much about being flexible, and the importance of a great team! Plus, I got to do job interviews on zoom, teams, google meet, name it! I went from interview to rejection to interview to even more rejection. Rejections are hard yo! But I refused to surrender, and I kept going, with a LOT of emotional support, and I am glad I did! Speaking of emotional support, please reach out to your loved ones this festive season to share the love and make sure no one is feeling isolated.
Back to my initial point about resilience: resilience refers to how well you can deal with and bounce back from the difficulties of life. It’s not about avoiding the stress, but learning to thrive within the stress. It can mean the difference between handling pressure and losing your cool. Resilient people tend to maintain a more positive outlook and cope with stress more effectively, which sounds very appealing. Research has shown that while some people seem to come by resilience naturally, these behaviours can also be learned. Whether you're going through a tough time now or you want to be prepared for the next one, there are five pillars you need to master: self-awareness, mindfulness, self-care, positive relationships & purpose. I strongly advise reading more on this, starting with “Resilience Theory: What Research Articles in Psychology Teach Us”. I might do a whole blog on this in the new year!
This year is coming to an end, and it is in no way what I imagined it would be. There have been setbacks, disappointments and missed targets along the way, but I’m so grateful for still having my health, my loved ones, old and new friends. I am so lucky to also be able to end the year with a PhD, a new job, and a new city to move to. As for 2021, the first rule is to not dwell on what went wrong in 2020. The new year can just bring it on, we’ll manage somehow, we are resilient!
My plan for 2021 is to still get excited for what is to come, while maintaining the grind. One thing I have definitely learnt from this year is to build stronger relationships with the people who matter. Let’s still step out of our comfort zones, taking on new challenges along the way. We have now learnt the importance of being able to adapt to changing environment and resources, so let’s make use of those skills, while shedding the people and habits that do not bring us joy. I defo want to maintain the daily habit of counting my blessings and accepting the importance of having a routine. Let’s all bring our positive energies wherever we go, try new things, spend more quality times with our loved ones, develop decent sleeping patterns and take care of each other. Let’s make happiness, healing, mental health and kindness our priorities. On that note, I wish you a wonderful new year!